I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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