Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so let's talk penis.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize