The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
