Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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