i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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