OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
