Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
