yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
