I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
