How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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