The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
