She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
