Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
