Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Randomize
