Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
