Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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