Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
