hotel room ftw
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize