I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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