I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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