we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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