I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
