You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
