jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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