also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
birth control should be required to get into college
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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