So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
