you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I love you. Go after that dick
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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