okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
