if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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