Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You made out with two different species that night
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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