That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
