i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
