I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
love makes seman taste better
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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