I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
