i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
