going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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