All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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