Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
