We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize