i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We left an ass print on the piano.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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