The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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