Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize