Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
