FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
