Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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