I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
