In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
