I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
