What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
