i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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