You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
