is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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