Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
