the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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