Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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