he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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