i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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