is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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