i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
