Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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