you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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