He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
