Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
