I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
