so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
