Define "chronic" masturbator.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
