The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
