Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
