the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
