im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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