I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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