I wannas sexs uuuuu
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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