I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
