Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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