Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
that may or may not have been my penis.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
