You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
