will power is for people who don't want to get laid
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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