sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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