I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
