I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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