All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
