So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
